I'm viral again

I have to laugh how this wedding gig footage has gone viral. I appreciate it but I want to be known more than just a spectacle and clown and energy giver/healer at parties. I have deeper thoughts that's why I write books and draw and publish those things on amazon. That's why I write music. I think it's good music. I'm always working to get better. My singing is better now than when i recorded a lot of that. II'm going to record more music. I just put out maybe my best song right before Mother's Day. I'm always hungry to get better and to listen to my gut as to what to do next. I just want to be able to move out of this studio apartment I've been living in for almost twenty years, and find a nice woman, or a bunch of hot young groupies, or both.I've been this lone wolf creative monk who hasn't gotten laid for so long and not all by choice. Life is funny. I'm trying my best to figure out to make the most of opportunities, to be more positive. I have a hard time being clear about what i want. I'm so much better at working than having fun.I get scared when I have too much fun, like something bad will happen. It's not healthy. Hopefully someone will come a long and see my potential. and through all of the struggle I'm learning to appreciate it, the journey. It would be nice to get more recognition and money than i've gotten in the past, at least. Cross the fingers. Time to get back to the real world, and appreciate the space in the air and awkward silence. I keep looking at this phrase I put up on my wall that came to me a few years ago during covid: God is the silence. The time between the moments, around the thoughts, underneath the yielding humility, supporting with inner clarity.