Man what a wild week. Last Wednesday when I got booked last minute to do this 8 day cruise on the MSC Divina, later that afternoon I was asked if I could play in Jennifer Hudson's horn section on her float for the Thanksgiving Parade. Because the flight tickets were already bought and i don't wanna piss off my agency since i shat the bed in April, I found myself being frustrated instead of thankful that I'm getting these opportunities at all, including the attention on social media. I chipped my tooth my first day on the ship a couple days ago by the way haha, biting too hard on a fork while eating salad. I chipped the same tooth years ago, so now it's just a little more chipped, hopefully not crazy noticeable. Well today I do my first show. This is a big ship, and a variety of ages compared to other ships i've performed on since i debuted last Christmas. I'm a little nervous, and actually i'm more nervous about feeling at all, and that my feelings may get in the way of having the best show I can possibly have. Overall I feel there's been self improvement over the last six months, and i'll do my best to build on that, instead of waiting for other shoes to drop. That's such a wicked habit of mine. It's like some bullshit intervention self defense mechanism that can't believe good things come my way without a catch or something. Here's to receiving good things with grace, knowing this is all just a ride, so you might as well enjoy it the best you can, even and especially during the high pressure times. I've had a mantra i've come up with to help me get out of my head before big performances, especially ones where i feel like there may still be kinks that could be ironed out: "Prepare, play, and see what happens."
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